For those that forget who I am. I wrote the following in 2002 and it holds more true to me today than the day I wrote it.
In life, we learn many things about ourselves. I am still learning and the lessons have become more and more painful. You will either love me or hate me. There is never an in between. I carry the burden of so many, but seem to find it hard to find anyone that will hold my hand in the end. With life, I have learned that many people will come and walk that path with you, but they are not always meant to stay. Each and every one comes along to teach you something new. The sad part is learning that in the end, they trully didn’t know you and were not really your friend.
History of the Goat Girls. The Goat Girls were born in the year 1998 upon me entering the world again after the birth of my child and the split up with his father. I met the most wonderful woman named Carrie, that has been my bestfriend since that moment. She is the one that is not afraid to yell at me when I need it and the one that will make me question my own decisions even after I thought I was right. One night, Carrie and I were attending a horrible display of what was supposed to be a metal band. Everyone kept doing the horns up hand gesture, so we started doing the dancing horns through the sleeves of our gothic dresses. Shortly after this, Linda came in from Norway to attending Convergence 5 in New Orleans with us. The birth of the Goat Girls. Three crazy girls in New Orleans, getting drunker than hell and telling every “Talk to the Goat” while doing this silly hand gesture and baahing afterwards. I guess it was one of those moments of “you really had to be there”. Lol… From this point on, those females that have stood by me all these years have become my Goat Girls. Carrie, Linda and myself are the founders. Serret has been my friend for 10 years, so she definitely is one of the Goats, even if she wasn’t there during that silly moment of establishing the GG. As the years went by, the Goat Girls became bigger. You can’t just become a GG, you must earn it in many ways as we have. The GG took on new meaning for me and will forever be a part of my life. The Goats are not Satanic. The horns represent strength. The horned one throughout our history has taken on many forms, but once the Christians set about on their path of destroying that which they feared, they invented Satan and persecuted my kind. There was no evil. There was no black or white. We were all one with nature. All our rituals were to better our lives. During Beltane, you have the hunt. The stag is to be hunted down and the victor becomes the king of Beltane. The Goddess needs the stag to create life. Ying and Yang. You can not have female without male, but the Goddess was always the majority. I myself do not worship Gods or Goddess. I do not believe in Satan nor the Christian God. I will bow to no man!
The way I see it, is this. In the years before Christianity, there were many great men and women among different tribes or clans if you will. These individuals did such wonderful things for those in their clan, thus allowing them the respect of being honored after their death. Those people may have honored them yearly, like an anniversary and it become tradition. Thus after a time period, they become a Goddess or God by those after them that never got the pleasure of knowing them in the flesh.
We are all equal in this life. No one is better than the other and we all need each other to make the circle of life complete. It’s when those that do not understand this that they become jealous. Jealousy is the destroyer of all that is beautiful. One should never be jealous of things that are beautiful or things that they may not understand. We must embrace those things, learn from them, become them. Not destroy them or persecute them because we do not understand. I could go on and on about this, but I will not for I have strayed.
The Goat Girls over the years have grown as well as been reduced again. I give credit where credit is not always due. I love everyone, thus making me naive a lot of the time. And it hurts in the end when you have given so much for these people and then they turn on you.
The Goat Girls are a Clan of strong women. We have endured all that life has handed us and we are still standing. As life goes on, we will continue to be standing, though sometimes we may be standing alone. We are few, but we are many. The Goats have grown to include males. In the beginning they were Chupacabra’s. ( Goat suckers.. heehee…) Now they are Goats because they have shown that they have the strength themselves to endure as we have and deserve the same honor to be called the Goats. The Goat Clan is the result of The Goat Girls and Siempre Vida joining hands.
Do not underestimate these horns. I may love you like no other, but if you ever cross me, I will show you why we have horns. I do not take it lightly when one of my own have been dishonored, nor will I take it lightly when I discover that you have dishonored me after all the love that I have given. That includes those that I have honored with being one of the Goats. I do not take my clan lightly. I will fight until the end to protect each and everyone that I love. As well, I expect the same in return.
So call me what you will, for only I and the ones that have taken the time to know me will know the truth of who I am.
I am…. Brandi Mother to Lord Lucian of the Land of Dragons Scarlet Goat, Queen of the Clan of the Goats